Bon's interveiw.

Bon has kindly invited me to join the interview game. Thanks Bon. And GREAT questions by the way!


1. you've done a fair bit of moving around and trying new things, and now you're settled back in the homeland. if i told you that you and Will and the bubs could all move anywhere in the world for a year, all expenses paid...would you uproot again and go? and where would you choose? and why?

Can I take a few liberties here? Thanks. I would move you, us and Jen, James & Zoe to England, and the six of us would live for a year together with our bubbas. The all expenses paid would be extended to your family and theirs and we would all have a year of fun together. That way the kids could get to know their cousins and some of our closest friends all in one year. Come to think of it, hang the all expenses thing, why don't we all look for jobs in London and do it anyway?!

2. you have the opportunity to star in a fabulous indie movie and pick your romantic lead...with whom you will then go film on location for a month.who do you choose? what does Will think?

I'd love to star with Jack Nicholson, but really, who wants him as a romantic lead??? Richard Gere would be my pick. Location for a month? I reckon Will would think 'Damn, couldn't she have picked someone cooler? If I'm going to spend a month in this place why couldn't she have picked someone I could talk to?' (You see if this were an ideal world and I was a movie star I wouldn't go on location for a month without Will and the kids. Call it a cop-out, but it's true.)

3. what's the thing you've done in your life that you're most proud of?

My first thought is the kids. But to be proud of something I've done I must not just do well at it, it must be something that at some stage I wanted to give up. Something so hard that at times I felt like throwing in the towel. Becoming and being a mum is physically hard, emotionally stressful and sometimes just downright difficult, but there has never been a time where I wanted to give it all away. Maybe in the very early days with Euey I would have loved to give him to someone else for a day, but only one day and I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to stay away the whole day.
I guess then, it must be law. I am proud of being accepted to study law. I'm proud that I'm getting some good results despite juggling study with kids. I'm proud that I haven't given it up as a bad joke. I'm proud that I've managed not to let the kids suffer. And I'm proud that I've allowed myself to see that I am not letting the kids suffer and that my results are good in the circumstances. I guess I'm proud that I'm allowing myself to be proud.
It was hard at first putting Euey in childcare, and really hard when I had to move him from 3 days to 5 days (although not all day, only 4 or 5 hours). I felt like I wasn't getting enough time to do well at Uni and also wasn't giving Euey enough of me. It took a long time to get over feeling like I was in the middle of a tug-o-war. I don't get all As, or even all Bs. It is the first time I've tried my guts out and still got the occasional C. I hate that. I hate Cs. Cs are failure to me. Euey having his nap and lunch without me and spending enough time in care to develop a great relationship with his carers was, at first, failure to me.
I'm proud that I can let myself accept that if I want to do both I have to lower my standards. And that's ok. It's not worse, just less. And the less means more in other areas. Studying while I have the kids means I see a lot more of them than if I went back to work. I could wait 'til they were older, then study, then work, but that would mean we live on one income for a lot longer, and that means less 'stuff' and no holidays. Unfortunately stuff is necessary, and besides, I like it. And holidays are necessary or Will would never get to see his family (they live in England). As for the uni marks, well they may not be as good as I want them to be, but by the time I'm looking for a job I will have so much life experience that someone straight out of Uni doesn't have. I think I will be a better prospect for employers because of that. And I won't have to take time out of my career to have babies. You see, there is a positive in every negative, and it is recognising that that makes me proud.

4. has there been a 'road not taken,' along the way, in any sense?something you didn't do that you wish you had?

I hate to say it, but no. A few things come to mind, only to be discarded straight away. Study law first instead of wasting time with a BA? No, then I probably wouldn't have ended up in Korea, where I met Will, made some really close friends and discovered a love of teaching. Actually study my BA, rather than get pissed every night and just scrape through? No, god no, imagine all the fun I would have missed out on. You see, as trite as it sounds, I like my life (a lot) and anything done differently wouldn't have got me here, right where I am now, where I'm as happy as Larry.

5. paint us a picture of your finished family, if you were an Angelina Jolie-type and money was no object. how many more kids would you add to your ideal family? would you birth them all or adopt? if so, from where?what gender(s) would you choose for your next child(ren) if it were all up to you?

Will and I always discussed adopting a child. We worked with some orphans in Korea and through a friend who was an orphan came to understand the lowly place in Korean society that they occupy. Made us want to 'rescue' one. My Dad's response was always 'once you have your own child you won't want anything else'. Now that I do have my own children I see what he means. Looking at the physical features of a tiny bubba and seeing yourself or your partner is a wonder I still can't get over. But that doesn't mean I don't want to adopt. Maybe. If money was no objection then almost definitely yes. But only one. I don't think I want more than 4 kids. And I want one more biological child. But does that mean the adopted one would feel left out?

See Bon taking away the parameters in which decisions like this are made just makes it all too difficult. As it stands now we are considering one more child. I don't care whether it's a boy or girl as I have one of each now. The factors that will help us decide are money and time. We would want the 3rd to be spaced the same as Euey and Aoife, about 19-20 months. If we are financially secure around the beginning of next year we'll go for it. In an ideal world it wouldn't be a question, the 3rd child would happen. Beyond that I'm not sure. It's too far away from reality for me to be able to decide.