Friday, January 26, 2007

Ceasarian v Nasty Natural

From the number of enquiries I've received it seems it's not only me wondering about this one. Which is worse, a natural birth gone wrong or a Cesarean perfectly executed?

Going into the Caesar I didn't think the recovery could be worse than my recovery from Euey's birth. When I was told I'd had a 4th degree tear after Euey's birth my first question to the doctor was 'How many degrees are there?'. I wasn't all that pleased to learn there are 4 degrees of tear and 4th is the worst. It is a tear from A to V. So it's pretty understandable that I thought 'major abdominal surgery' (as the midwives kept putting it) would be a breeze. It aint! As far as I can see, they are both bad, the difference is in the timing and the activities.

The Caesar was the worst for the first 2 days. I couldn't get out of bed for a day, then day 2 the move from the bed to the shower nearly killed me. Even by day 5, when I went home, it wasn't looking so good - the walk from hospital room to car made me realise that all the 'walking around' I'd been doing in my little hospital room didn't cut it in the real world. Now, a week later, I'm doing okay. I can get out of bed without screaming on the inside and my meds are purely over the counter.

The tear was bad too, but for the first 2 days they had me on a morphine drip! After that I was on Panadene Forte for about a week, and my god did it hurt to walk and pee. I had to sit on a cushion with a hole in it for at least 2 weeks. It ached to walk for months.

I think this time I will be mobile, in terms of walking, much sooner than with Euey. It is the other activities that are a problem. I'm only just beginning to understand that the tummy muscles I thought didn't exist actually get used an awful lot. Pushing, lifting and sitting up out of bed all won't be easy for awhile.

So which would I prefer? Neither of course! Ideally, if there is a next time, I'd love a natural birth with as little intervention as possible. But considering the first two, that's highly unlikely. I guess it comes down to this:
I elected for a Caesar this time because there was a high likelihood I would tear again and then be incontinent. If that risk still stands 'next time' then I will elect for Caesar again. It doesn't matter what the recovery time is - wearing nappies* is not a risk I'm willing to take!

* that's diapers for my Nth American readers :)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Not wondering much ...

The only thing I'm wondering at the moment is whether I can actually cope with having two kids. Considering the imminent arrival of Dot (tomorrow) and the method of that arrival (Caesar) I fear it may be awhile before I'm actually thinking or wondering much.

It is not a myth that your brain turns to mush when you're pregnant and raising small children. And it is not simply because you're so busy running around making sandwiches and breast feeding that you have no time to think. I have discovered that when I actually find time I still cannot make my brain work to the same capacity as it used to.

I'm sure my legal text books are harder to understand than they should be. I can't do simple math and find myself not even trying. I go to parties (not all that often!) and bore myself silly because I can't make interesting conversation. I am often just happy to sit without thinking. Just sit, nothing else. My mind completely blank. I find this odd. Having the ability to just sit and think nothing is still not something I'm used to being able to do, let alone actively wanting to do.

My mother tells me that you get your brain back when your last child is about 3. If we have a third (and that will be the last) then by my reckoning that means I will be able to post on Thoughts and Wonderings towards the end of 2011.

See you then.