Media Callousness

There are some images that are inherently private. Everyone knows that, right? Apparently the media do not. Lately there have been so many examples on Australian tv that I am starting to think we need a movement. The public need to rise up and shout No, we do not need to know everything! Do not invade our privacy in the name of ‘news’.

The pictures I’ve seen have mostly been of grief.
China: relatives on their knees having just been informed that their family members, though alive, were trapped in buildings too dangerous to enter, so the search was being called off. The picture cut from the women before they were told, already showing signs of distaste at being filmed, to the same women after the news, in total shock and attempting to hide their grief from the camera.
Australia: victim of a horrific boat accident grieving the loss of his friends while being carried off to an ambulance.
These people did not ask to be on tv. It was obvious (by their hands covering their faces) that they did not want to be on tv at a moment like that. Exactly how does it aid the public’s understanding of disaster scenes to witness such invasions of privacy?

The latest episode was not as graphic, there were no pictures, but it was equally heartless and unnecessary. This morning on Sunrise, a current affairs breakfast show, there was a discussion about reports that Angelina Jolie has had her twins. So-and-so entertainment news in the US is reporting she has, this-n-that other entertainment news reporting she hasn’t, you get the picture. Toward the end of the segment the presenter mentions Jolie’s due date was announced as August, then laughingly says ‘I guess we’ll have to wait for the million dollar photos to be sure’.

August. That’s right, they were having a light-hearted discussion about whether a Mother had just given birth to twins 2 months prematurely. Without even a mention that this may be a complete disaster for the twins and their family. No consideration that if those ‘reports’, that apparently provided for such an entertaining debate, were true then there is no guarantee the twins will live, let alone live healthy non-hospitalised lives.

I complained. By email and by phone. I hope more people disgusted by such callousness will complain. Maybe then the media will get the idea that the public doesn’t have a right, or a desire, to know everything.

New Year Resolutions

Hmm. I think there are too many things in my life. I am a collector. A collector of things and of things to do. The things make for clutter (and many many full shoeboxes) and the things to do, I'm coming to the realisation, make for nothing done that well. A Jack of all trades, master of none, that's me. I realise this every time I read bon's blog. Not only does she write prolifically, but it's always interesting, thought provoking and often heart wrenching. Writing is what Bonnies do betht you might say (but you might be wrong, 'cause I'm betting she's also pretty good at Mummying, Wifeying and I know she's great at Teaching). Anyway, I digress. Back to me. I do many things, none of which I ever seem to have time for. What I've been trying to figure out is why I never have time for them. Is it because there are lots of them or is it because I'm useless at time management? Do I waste time? I think, truthfully, the tv wastes a lot of it for me. I don't turn it on, but once it's on I seem to have a real problem not watching it. Even if it is something as stupid as Next Top Model.

So because I never seem to have enough time I feel I don't do anything well enough. I don't write enough posts. The posts I do write are usually just a couple of tidbits of Eulish or a whole heap of photos. I do okay at the keeping-track-of-the-kids side of things, but the producing-thought-provoking-pieces-of-writing bit lets me down. I must say, I think more reading would help on this side of things, but again, more reading is something I don't seem to have enough time for. Mostly I read the Bulletin on the toilet, but seeing as that Australian Institution has shut up shop I may be doomed to complete ignorance of the world outside Bundoora. Which leads me to another thing I don't do so well, keep up with current affairs. This one I can not blame entirely on not enough time. It has always been something I forced myself to pay attention to rather than was actively interested in.

There are numerous other 'things to do': scrap booking the family photos (Euey's album, Aoife's album and the family album, plus keeping all the digital photos in some sort of organised manner); creating and updating family trees for both my sides of the family and Will's side and putting them on the family website I created (currently missing large branches); correspondence with numerous friends in far away lands (also not so up-to-date); keeping baby books for both kids; researching potential jobs for when I finally finish this damn law degree; researching potential areas of interest for a potential honours thesis; sewing; facebook; and lots of little organising things that will hopefully give me more time to do the other things but often just end up eating away at the time I have got.

So. What to do? I don't want to stop doing any of these things. And besides, I have done this all my life, this doing of too many things. So I need to figure out where I'm wasting time and stop doing it. Tv is the obvious answer. If anyone has any ideas on how not to watch a tv when it's on (that don't involve turning it off or defenestrating it) they would be greatly appreciated.

So, does not wasting time end up on my list of New Year Resolutions? Nope. You see, I have never made resolutions before. I always thought they are just promises you make to yourself and then end up breaking, so I didn't bother making them in the first place. This year I decided I would make two small, simple, doable resolutions. Not wasting time, when you don't know where you're wasting it, or even if you are, is not a small or simple resolution, so this is what I resolved:

1. Do the dishes before I go to bed.

2. Write more snail mail (it's fun to receive, much more personal and the kids can help)

So far I'm doing well on both counts. I've done the dishes every night (and WOW does it make a difference to my mornings) and I've sent 4 letters. Although I'm not sure either will help with my lack of time problem.

Chrissy Questions

I've been working. Yep. And loving it. But it doesn't leave much time for much else (especially after the washing, dishes, lunch making etc). So I have just read the couple of blogs I try to keep in touch with and came across this list of questions on Catha's blog. Sounds like fun. I am a HUGE Christmas fan. The antithesis of Scrooge.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Ahh. Questions written by a Nth American I see. A good cold beer for me thanks (or some of Cath's Dad's punch if I'm lucky enough ... and brave enough ... and not breastfeeding).

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

Puts them unwrapped in the Santa Sack.

3. Coloured lights on tree/house or white?

Lights on house for the first time this year. I've always wanted to do it but couldn't be bothered rigging up the electricity. This time, as I pulled the lights out I tripped over an extension cord, so up went the lights on the varandah. Oh yeah, they're coloured. And the ones on the tree flash differently when you press the button, and they're coloured too. And the ones over the door are white and the other ones are white but have little Santa covers on them (does that count as white or coloured? What a weird thing to ask anyway? Do people have a real preference on such things?).

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

Wouldn't even know where to get some.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

Not before December, but as soon as December starts I start gathering my thoughts and trying to find a tree.

6. What is your favourite holiday dish?

Ham. The ham that you can only buy around Xmas. Cold ham on the bone. I have already bought and eaten my first leg of ham this year.

7. Favourite Holiday memory?

My memory sucks. I love holidays while they last though!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

I have a vague memory of being in Mum and Dad's bathroom when it happened. Told you my memory sucked.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

No. Of course not. What a question. Is Christmas Eve Christmas? No!


10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?

With balls, lights and tinsel? How else do you decorate a tree? This year the balls, lights and tinsel all start about 2 feet off the ground so Aoife can't eat them.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?

I'm sorry, I just can't rival this answer from Cath so I have to copy/paste it. I haven't laughed so hard in a while - part in the writing and part in recognition of the picture the writing painted.

never much thought about it at christmas time ("6 white boomers" for me, no "i'm dreaming of a white christmas") until a few years ago when i was in korea for my first potential white christmas. in truth, it ended up being just plain cold. yeah there was snow... but snow isn't as romantic when it's been turned into brown sludge by the traffic and there's some korean dude at the bottom of the hill trying to dig his car out of the ice with his shoe. this year, i'm pretty much dreading it. but i'll be ok... sigh...

12. Can you ice skate?

Yep. Not well. Not like a Canadian. Not backwards. But yep, I can get around and have fun.

13. Do you remember your favourite gift?

Refer above. I tend to like anything that's wrapped up and a surprise so there's been lots of favourites.

14. What's the most important thing about Christmas?

Family. (Presents are a very close second).

15. What is your favourite Holiday Dessert?

I used to hate Chrissy Pudding 'til the Christmas I was first pregnant. That Christmas I hate 3 helpings and I haven't looked back since. Although, even when I didn't like it I still loved the tradition of putting the sixpences in it.

16. What is your favourite holiday tradition?

Handing out the presents from under the tree. It was usually me and one or two other of the cousins who did it.

16.5 What is your least favourite holiday tradition?

Who has a least favourite holiday tradition??? That is just a weird concept. Everything about holidays is fun, and if it isn't it certainly doesn't become a tradition.

17. What tops your tree?

This year it's a really funky reindeer. Usually it's some dodgy handmade vague star-shaped affair.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?

Both.

19. Favourite Christmas Song?

There's one floating around on YouTube about a Holden Ute to the tune of Dashing through the snow. I'm not a fan of Christmas music on the whole, but that one is gold.

P.S. Will has just located the song and informed me it's to the tune of Jingle Bells, which happens to usually have 'Dashing through the snow' as a first line - told you I wasn't really big on Christmas music.

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City v Country

I grew up in the country. I spent afternoons after school in the orchard. My first job was driving the ute from tree to tree as we picked the pears in the small orchard (the one at home was small enough so we didn't bother employing pickers, the main orchard was 2 miles down the road). I was eight. I crashed the ute into a tree because I was driving so slowly and such a short distance that the instructions didn't place much emphasis on the brake. I was shown the accelerator, told how to slowly let off the clutch then told to put my foot on the clutch and take it off the accelerator when I wanted to stop. I'm sure I was told where the brake was, but my memory is of taking my foot off the accelerator and wondering why the car kept rolling slowly into the tree.



The car crashing is just one of many memories I'm sure I wouldn't have if I grew up in the city. This is my dilemma. I really want the kids to grow up in the country. So does Will. But I have to wonder if the childhood I had can be got for my kids. Is it still possible to drive around with a few kids, a dog and a whole heap of yabby nets in the back of the ute? Or get pulled down the road on your roller skates by the dog (a road where the the speed limit is 100 k/hr and that's considered a minimum). Or ride your bike 6 miles home when you're in Primary School? I think not.



However I think new laws and changing social norms are not the real things stopping my babies having the childhood I had. It is the lack of two things: my grandfather and a farm.



Without a farm you couldn't learn to drive at 8. You couldn't make 'drag tracks' for the 4-wheeler motorbikes. You would have nowhere to pull people around on skateboards without wheels behind those motorbikes. You couldn't drive a tractor. You couldn't earn your pocket money putting pheromone sticks on trees or counting Codling Moths. There would be no Italian farmhand to share his salami sandwiches with you. You would have no idea how hard, or how fun it is to wrestle a sheep to the ground. Or how cool it is to see a lamb be born. Or how stinky insides of sheep become when they're left in the sun.



Without a man like my grandfather you would be unlikely to find yourself waist deep in a drained dam catching big fish by hand. Or careering round a bend in the back of the ute at some speed that's waaay too fast. Or going to pick Prickly Pears from the local Cactus Pear trees. Or being called Lucky, Happy or Shithead rather than your name.



So, is it worth uprooting our family to move to the country? Leaving behind the friends we are slowly gathering because they too have kids? Starting that process of making a network of 'family friends' all over again? Without a farm (I will not become a farmer) and without Brucie what does the country have to offer?



I guess you don't have to own a farm to eat fruit straight from the tree. You can still go yabbying in the local channel. If you are country enough you can probably learn to drive at 12 or 14 on the back roads. There's still lots of trees. Lots of places to ride your bike. You still have to have friends over for the whole night 'cause it's too far for them to just stay an hour. Yeah, I guess it will be worth it. Besides, making friends is easier in the country right, cause everyone is friendly!

So I was reading this article in The Bulletin the other day - well actually it was over about 3 days cause that's how long it takes me to finish anything in the 'leisure that doesn't include kids' category - anyway, the article was about Facebook, and parts of it got me a little mad. Not much, just enough to make me put my two cents out there.

Why is it that people can't accept Internet communication as 'real' communication? Email is snail mail's poor cousin. An ecard is what you send if you haven't got your arse into gear to send a 'real' card. Blogs don't rate as high as newspapers or magazines (although the content is often much more insightful) and Facebook is apparently "as much about obsessing over the dull details of my life as it is about connecting with others". Well here's how I see it.

People choose. People choose which method of communication they use and how often they use it. Online methods are no better or worse. Nor do they have to replace the 'old' methods, they can just be added as options. Personally, I'd rather receive a 'real' card for my birthday so I can put it on the mantelpiece for a week (or 6, depending on when I get around to recycling it!). I do love getting letters, but would rather receive bi-weekly email updates than once-a-month out-of-date snail mail.

As for Facebook, well as far as I can see, it's just a communication gold-mine. I post photos to keep everyone up-to-date on the kids growth spurts, drop a little line to my close friends every now and then, catch up with cousins I haven't seen in years and just keep an eye on everyone else. What it means to me is information. Knowing what everyone is up to keeps them closer. Having a young family when most of my friends have dogs means that I don't get to see them very often. When I do, I spend most of the time catching up on the 'big' things I've missed (new job, latest dodgy boss story, holiday news) and never get down to the nitty gritty. I don't know what their day-to-day lives are like. I miss that. If all of my friends were on Facebook (many are now) and just posted little updates on their wall every now and then I could read the day-to-day stuff and be able to have 'real' conversation when I do see them.

I am a communicator by nature. I remember nearly all my cousins birthdays and ring or send cards. I keep friends. I am still in contact with people I haven't seen more than once or twice in the last 10 years. My longest friendship has now been running 27 yrs and 7 months - since I was 30 days old. What I love about technology is it makes this possible. It doesn't mean I don't send cards (and even the odd letter) or ring, it just means I also send emails, Facebook messages or have online chats in between the cards, letters and phone calls. It increases and enhances my communication.

Most of all, this instant communication means I get the day-to-day stuff that tells so much about a person. In the spirit of day-to-day stuff I am going to start a Meme (if I've remembered the term correctly). Check it out on Bubba Updates and have a go.

Gearing Up

Get ready everyone. Or should I say no one? I'm not sure, but considering how long I've been away and how small my readership was before I went, I may well be writing for no one. But I will write anyway.

I am gearing up. Tonight I've looked at my reading list for next semester, which gave me a small heart attack. $450 worth of books for 2 subjects. That's a bloody lot of money for a few mashed up trees.

I'm not sure I'm ready. Ready for study? Yes. Ready to put my bubba in childcare for the first time at a mere tiny weeny little 6 months? No. Ready for my little man to go from 1/2 a day in care to 4 1/2 days? No. I miss them already. I catch myself picturing leaving them and realise I'm squeezing the life out of them (literally, I have to loosen my hug).

These feelings don't surprise me anymore. Before Euey was born I thought I could birth him in mid June and return to study the next semester in August when he was 6 weeks old. When he was 6 weeks old I realised how stupid that thought was. He was TINY. TINY I tell you. There was no way I was leaving him - I didn't care who with, I didn't want to be away from him. When I left him at childcare for the first time at 6 1/2 months I did very well not to cry. I hated it. He was balling when I left and cried when I got there to pick him up (I guess the emotion of having Mummy back was just too much). Of course he grew to love it, but those first couple of months were really crap.

You see, having kids has confirmed something. I am first and foremost a Mum. I would love to stay at home with them 'til the last one went to school. I wouldn't be bored (all the time). I wouldn't get frustrated (okay, sometimes). i would love every minute of it (well, enough of those minutes to make it worthwhile). But it is not practical. I have to finish my degree before they decide I've taken too long and boot me out. I have to get into the workplace so we can stop being a one-income family. We have stuff we want to do. Holidays, new cars, buy a house. Important stuff. Compromise is a shitty thing I have decided. We did this kid thing now cause we wanted to. So I could have more time with the kids cause I was studying. It worked. I wouldn't take it back. I do have more time than if I was at work. But I it's still a compromise. I don't have every waking moment with my bubbas. And that SUCKS ARSE.


P.S. Get ready for some law-theme thoughts and wonderings as in a few short weeks they will be consuming my every brain cell.